I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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