i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
