i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize