You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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