Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She announced her abortion via fbk
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i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.