we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.