it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
