Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Shame - the story of my life.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
