I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
