after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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