I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
