My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.