Insert tab A into swedish slot B
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
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I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra