I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.