so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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