Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
