I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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