So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize