I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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