I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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