You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize