lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
