he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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