And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.