saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
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DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home