Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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