forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize