he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize