some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
