you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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