Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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