People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
