I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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