She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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