I can't watch pbs sober anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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