It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize