I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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