I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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