I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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