I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize