State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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