just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
not ubering you a puppy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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