The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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