12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize