Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
