I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
