This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize