that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life