i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.