Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
