So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
