fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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