I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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