Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
