he shaved USA in his pubs
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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